Baker’s Dozen (TM) Signs you might be a terrorist

By Nathan Barton

You might be a “terrorist” if:

  1. Excessive complaints about the travel screening process.
  2. Excessive throat clearing.
  3. Exaggerated or repeated grooming gestures.
  4. Exaggerated yawning.
  5. Gazing down at the floor.
  6. Having a rigid posture.
  7. Wide open, staring eyes “wild-eyed.”
  8. Wearing improper attire for location or activity.
  9. Whistling as you approach the travel screening station.
  10. Face pale (from recent shaving of a beard).
  11. Rubbing or wringing of hands.
  12. Arriving late for a flight or other travel.
  13. Exhibiting arrogance or a cold penetrating stare.

Each of these are indicators or “suspicious behaviors” that can be used by hidden or visible TSA observers to “predict” your actions of terrorism when boarding or departing from a bus, airliner, train, or boat.  (Attempts to NOT exhibit such behavior, by consciously trying not to do these things is ALSO a suspicious behavior that can allow security forces to take action against you.)

Trained and expert TSA observers (Behavior Detection Officers, or BDO) will note behavior and assign points for each type of observed behavior.  If you show stress, that is worth one point.  Signs of fear earn two points, and attempts at deception are worth three points.  If you win four or five points, that is a cause for additional screening (body searches, X-rays, baggage searches, etc.), and if you earn six or more points, that is justification to call in local law enforcement for detention or other actions.

Mama’s Note: Oh but… we’re told that if we have nothing to hide, we have nothing to fear from all this. However… the total lack of “terrorists” thus identified only proves that the real intention is to completely control all travel. The goal is not safety, by any means, but control.

About tpolnathan

Follower of Christ Jesus (christian), Pahasapan, Westerner, Lover of Liberty, Free-Market Anarchist, Engineer, Army Officer, Husband, Father, Historian, Writer.
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