By L. Reichard White
©May 4, 2018
Wondering why we’re all f’d-up about sex lately? Well, you can stop wondering.
Take movie ratings for example. The original Robocop — where they literally shoot officer Alex J. Murphy to pieces right on screen — eventually copped an “R” rating. On the other hand, showing naked folks and feigned sex — as in “I Am Curious (Yellow)” — not only regularly got an “X” rating but could get the flick confiscated by U.S. Customs.
Despite the fact that Robocop gave Chrys’s thirteen-year-old daughter nightmares, all sorts of bloody mayhem, murder, and gratuitous violence in film was at worst traditionally rated “R” while showing a naked female breast — two of which nourished most of us as babies — or feigning the sex act — which is how almost all of us got here — was rated “X.”
So, according to Official U.S. Culture, sex is worse than bloody murder.
Starting from that premis, is it any surprise we’re all f’d up about sex?
Barbara tells me of an incident when she was in grade school. It seems a boy lay in wait in the bushes, and on her way home from school, he jumped out, kissed her, and ran off down the street.
She told me she obsessed about that for weeks, maybe longer. I asked her why it troubled her so much. She told me it didn’t trouble her, it was exciting, exhilarating, and maybe romantic even at the age of twelve.
But now, on purpose or not, legalistic Official U.S. Culture and the Rules Mentality have turned love and romance into legally questionable and financially dangerous enterprises.
As if things weren’t already complicated enough as designed by Mother Nature in the first place — and further worked-over by most religions — now California colleges could require a signed contract before that first kiss.
And hiding in the bushes to steal one may be a felony.
If you’re familiar with the “50 Shades” franchise, you know contracts now go a lot further than just that first kiss – – –
Whatever happened to the old movie staple “No! No!” followed by the pursuit and then — just maybe — “Yes, oh yes!“? Which, I hesitate to say, still suits the true sexual nature of both men and women — and the LGBT communities too. Despite Official U.S. Culture and the Rules Mentality.
Equal pay for equal work — and a woman’s absolute right to control her own reproduction — go without saying. But before “we” can have an approximately civilized discussion about this amazingly f’d up modern situation, there’s one extremely important distinction apparently now lost by Official U.S. Culture.
It’s the distinction between extortion of sexual services or “favors” to keep a job, rape and other assault — which should all be prosecuted to the full extent of the law — versus “sexual harassment” and especially “unwanted sexual advances.” Which are often very difficult or impossible to separate from “No! No!” followed by persistent pursuit. Especially for men, but for women too – – –
“And yes, I loved the attention from Dustin Hoffman. Until I didn’t.” –Anna Graham Hunter, Dustin Hoffman Sexually Harassed Me When I Was 17
See, despite the male ego — and even though we’re often not consciously aware of it — it’s the female of the species who charts the path of evolution. She does so by choosing, consciously or otherwise, the male(s) she allows to mate with her. Even a mare in a harem must choose to “stand” for her stallion or there are no next generation foals.
To perform her part, our girls must first attract males, the more the better. Which is why, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, “attractive” is the key word for our gals. “Attractive” has deep and powerful emotional — and sexual — roots. Whether we’re consciously aware of it or not.
That’s why women innately want to feel attractive, traditionally signalled, at least in “modern” cultures, by hearing words like “pretty,” “beautiful,” “lovely,” “ravishing,” “stunning,” and currently (2018 A.D.), “amazing,” etc. But the key word is “attractive.” For any reason. And yes girls, I know that’s not always fair.
According to one survey, “The most common reason cited by women [for ‘cheating’] was that they needed confirmation that other men still found them attractive.”
Even just looking at a woman subliminally validates her as attractive. Which is likely why one of the early 1960s feminists — who lived as a man for awhile — said the most noticeable difference was that no one ever looked at her when she was posing as a man.
Yes guys, consciously or not, they notice you looking, etc. Which is also why flowers and gifts — tangible proof that you have been looking and like what you see — usually work. Or even, in the old days, just opening doors and/or pulling out chairs for her.
But then she chooses which, if any, of us to “stand” for. Which for the un-chosen is the classic “tease” — which now and then leaves some of us with those fabled “blue balls.”
Yes, I know it doesn’t seem fair, but it’s all part of the game, and for your peace of mind, you should try to accept it as such.
And while playing, you might also want to keep the definition of “assault” firmly in mind and, as most of us do, diligently avoid it – – –
assault: A crime that occurs when one person tries to physically harm another in a way that makes the person under attack feel immediately threatened. Actual physical contact is not necessary; threatening gestures that would alarm any reasonable person can constitute an assault.
And keep in mind that girls are usually easier to alarm. And girls, keep in mind that men are five times as likely to be murder victims as women, and it’s often over a woman.
“Extortion” — as of sexual services or “favors” to keep an existing job — is slightly more subtle but a legitimate crime none the less. Like this – – –
Extortion (also called shakedown, outwrestling and exaction) is a criminal offense of obtaining money, property, or services from an individual or institution, through coercion.
Absent such complications, however, our game is rather benign compared to others. For example, male peacocks have to carry those huge flashy tails around because the pea-hens notice them. But predators notice them too.
Bighorn rams butt heads until one is stunned into submission. The male praying-mantis loses his head over the female who chooses him. Literally. Because she slices it off as part of the mating ritual.
But despite our relatively benign game, Official U.S. Culture in cahoots with the Rules Mentality has illadvisedly managed to confuse rape and other real assault with “sexual harrassment” and “unwanted sexual advances.” It’s almost certainly the legalisms that did it.
There’s no better testimony than from U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. When asked by NPR’s Nina Totenberg if she had ever been sexually harrassed, Ms. Ginsburg put it this way – – –
“The answer is yes. Every woman of my vintage knows what sexual harassment is, although we didn’t have a name for it. The attitude to sexual harassment was simply `Get past it. Boys will be boys.'” — “RBG”: New Documentary Celebrates Life of Groundbreaking Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Democracy Now!
Indeed! And girls need boys to be boys so they can be girls – – –
But once the Rules Mentality put a name to it, Official Culture thought it knew better than Mother Nature, sex got way more f’d up than necessary, and we now have things like this – – –
Although clearly much less damaging than their usual use of time, a Congressional investigation over an alleged grope that, of this writing, happened 39 years ago in 1979? Really?
And there’s this from the French who should know better – – –
Men in France could be fined €350 (US$435) if they follow women in the street, whistle at them, make loud comments about their appearance or ask for their phone numbers, according to a draft proposal to combat “sexual contempt.” —Whistling at women & asking for phone number could cost men 350 Euros in France
And as annoying as such behavior might be, girls, it’s absolute proof you’re attractive. And come on now, you know it.
Troubling to snowflakes or not, Mother Nature’s Prime Directive for all sexually reproducing species is:
HAVE SEX and REPRODUCE OR BECOME EXTINCT!!
Given the physiology, however — and to our consternation — we’re forced to pursue it in different though mostly complimentary ways — and we shouldn’t forget the “complimentary” part.
A big clue to the difference part is that romance novels are the best-selling genre – – – and it’s women who buy almost all of them.
So half of us think it’s mostly about love and romance while the other half think it’s mostly about having sex. Like this, for example – – –
“Here I was being romantic and you are distracting me with your kinky fuckery.” –Anastasia Steele in “50 Shades Darker.”
So it’s clear: Unisex is a non-starter. Like it or not, as the French wisely put it before they got waylaid by legalisms and the Rules Mentality, “Vive la Différence!”
Only a couple of generations ago, Storks brought babies and “pregnant” was a four-letter word.
Luckily for the human race, Mother Nature has always summarily dealt with such misguided Official Culture. Otherwise our ancestors would have disobeyed Mom’s Prime Directive and we wouldn’t be here.
So, while half of us think it’s about love and romance — and the other half think it’s about having sex — Mother knows it’s about babies.
To put this in context, if even a small percentage of our ancestors had failed to do what our mothers and fathers did to get us here, the human race would have quickly become just a very short footnote in the fossil record.
Just to compensate for deaths from wars and other government activities, accidents etc., our real cultures must still somehow produce about 2.1 babies per woman just to maintain a stable population.
And that statistic is falling below the 2.1 “stable” rate in most “developed” countries. In other words, with all its ramifications, the zero-growth movement has already won where it counts. The baby-boom is over. In Japan, Russia, Germany, Poland, Portugal, Italy, and minus those “illegal” immigrants, even in the U.S. Etc.
So, as in the many cases where Official Culture and it’s legalisms clash with common sense and especially with Mother Nature — for example when it comes to “sexual harrassment” and particularly “unwanted sexual advances” — for your own happiness, it’s best to shine them on.
Follow Ms. Ginsburg’s advice — before her pretty little head got all tangled up in legalisms — to whit, “Get past it. Boys will be boys.”
But, then, you probably already know that. Right?
BTW, just sort of pull’n the “male chauvinist pig” chain with that “pretty little head” remark – – –
So girls, Official Culture. the Rules Mentality and legalisms aside, just remember, when we whistle at you, talk to your boobs, follow you around persistently trying to get linked to your device — and watch your backside when we think you don’t know — it’s just that boys will be boys. We’re designed that way.
Whether you like it or not, it’s so you can be girls — and it’s Mother’s way of helping you get pregnant. Whether we like it or not.
And it’s validation that you’re still attractive to men — well usually men — and don’t have to cheat to prove it.
And guys, she risks her life and goes through excruciating pain to bring us into the world.
So short of rape, it’s only fair it’s the girls who decide who they’ll mate with. Just be glad you’re not a peacock or bighorn ram.
Or a mantis – – –
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L. Reichard White [send him mail] taught physics, designed and built a house, ran for Nevada State Senate, served two terms on the Libertarian National Committee, managed a theater company, etc. For the next few decades, he supported his writing habit by beating casinos at their own games. His hobby, though, is explaining things he wishes someone had explained to him. You can find a few of his other explanations listed here.