A Seussian Poem About The Plight Of A Vaccinated Man In Covid, shared by our reader Scott.
By Jenna McCarthy
The 15th of March seemed a nondescript day, although something was festering far, far away. It may or may not have escaped from a lab, (but make no mistake; it would end in a jab).
Morton was working a job he could stand. “That’s odd”, he said plainly. “My throat feels like sand.” It was prickly and tickly and surely quite mild. “It is the cold season”, Morton said, and he smiled.
Then he went back to doing the things you could do before things were decided for you by the WHO. But he made a mistake, and a grave one at that: He turned on the telly. There was talk of a bat.
Lots of them! Dead ones! For sale on the street! “They’re teeming with germs”, POTUS said in a tweet. “Oh dear”, muttered Morton, clutching his neck. All of a sudden, he was feeling a wreck.
The telly-man said he should not go outside, he should not go to Target or get his hairs dyed. ‘Twould be good if he could shun the whole human race, and he abso-must-lutely start covering his face.
He listened intently; did as him was told, because Morton very much wanted to grow old. That bat-bug was nasty, the whole world could see. It was hell-bent on wiping out humanity!
So, Morton masked up and he cancelled his plans, and got extra obsessive about washing his hands. The telly-man told him, good things were coming; around the whole world, you could hear a faint humming.
It rumbled and rattled, then turned to a roar; why hadn’t somebody done this before? They’d made a vaccine, he could get it for free! Now he would be protected from sure misery!
What’s more, with a shot, he could unwrap his face. He could see other people, he could go anyplace! He could have Christmas dinner with Bob and his wife and visit with Grams without risking her life!
So, he covered his mug and he rolled up his sleeve, for himself and his cat and his fat old Aunt Eve. “Getting a jab is the right thing to do”, he’d shout at his neighbors, his face turning blue.
When Morton heard folks were refusing the shot, he basically told them he hoped they would rot. “You’re mean and you’re selfish and dumb as a stump and I know for a fact, you voted for Trump!”
One day, the telly-man had some bad news. “One shot is as good as a badly-burnt fuse. Without 2, you’re risky; a threat to mankind. We’ll give you a donut – or 2 – for your time!”
The orders came down from a doctor named Ouchie; If anyone scorned his demands, he’d get grouchy. Again, Morton did what he needed to do, and his arm turned a perfectly purplish hue.
“I got it, you guys! I got number 2!” he boasted on Facebook. “And you all should, too!” The next day, a freakishly weird thing occurred: All Morton’s words began coming out slurred.
His face was half frozen, half all-falling-down; his lips seemed to be stuck in a misshapen frown. I certainly wonder what could be the cause? he mused as he noticed the rash on his paws.
And his head – it was splitting, a deafening pain. He felt quite as if he’d been hit by a train! But Morton had no time to dwell on his ills; the telly-man’s words had him covered in chills.
“2 shots, don’t you know, are as useless as 1. You must get a third; do not walk, soldiers. RUN!” Some people were saying the shots might be bad – might even be causing the symptoms he had!
Nonsense like that really made Morton crabby. Nothing but magic was inside of that jabby! He was positive, sure of it, down to his bones, nothing in there was messing with his hormones.
Sure, young kids were suddenly dropping from strokes. But safe-and-effective! You can trust science, folks! What else could he do? There was no other answer. So what if it tripled his chances of cancer?
Morton was part of the poked-and-proud crowd. Changing your mind simply wasn’t allowed. Somewhere around jab 4 or jab 6, the telly-man dropped a new shit-ton of bricks.
“Whether 16-times-poked, or not prodded at all, you still need a mask to buy crap at the mall. And maybe this holiday folks shouldn’t gather; If you do, you could die. Is that what you’d rather?”
For a second year running, Morton holidayed alone. He wished Merry Christmas to his family by phone. He woke up one morning not feeling too well, and realized he’d lost all his taste and his smell.
He’d gotten the virus! The deadly disease! He crawled into bed with a feverish wheeze. Thence Morton fell into a pit of despair. “I did all the things! This just isn’t fair!
They told me those jabs would keep everyone well. And you, Dr. Ouchie? You can go straight to hell!” It’s true, poor Morton was falling apart; the slurring had turned to some pains in his heart.
“It’s just inflammation, no biggie”, Doc said. “Now roll up your sleeve and lay down on this bed. It’s booster day, son. It won’t cost you a dime! It’s painless and safe, you’ll be done in no time.”
“You know what?” cried Morton, his voice fiery mad. “I’m sick of this bullshit! The whole world’s gone mad! These vaccines of yours, they simply don’t work. I know ‘cuz I took them. I feel like a jerk!
You bribed and you lied. It was all a big scam! You’ve raked in your billions. You don’t give a damn people are dying and getting quite sick from your unconstitutionally mandated prick.
I’m not taking another! You hear me? Not one! You couldn’t convince me if you pointed a gun at the tip of my temple and threatened to shoot it. You’re corrupt to the core and you cannot refute it!”
Some folks down the street couldn’t miss Morton’s shouting. And most of them, frankly, had already been doubting the lies the telly and Ouchie had told about a virus, for most was as mild as a cold.
They rushed to high-5 their courageous new leader, each promising to be Morton’s loudest cheerleader. They made signs and t-shirts: “I call my own shots!” “My body, my choice!” “They’re not ‘just’ blood clots!”
Morton was happy, but still suffering a lot of the horrible side-effects caused by that shot. He heard of a lawyer who was suing the WHO and he whipped off a 2-worded letter: Me too!
“Not safe, not effective”, the court finally said. “Quite frankly, you’re lucky you aren’t dead!” Morton went home with a big pile of cash, and waited for the rest of the narrative to crash.
It didn’t take long; that thing was quite frail. Best of all, Ouchie was going to jail! As the world bid adieu to the king of the liars, people danced in the streets and burned masks in great fires.
The pandemic was over! They could live without fear! They could go to a bar! They could order a beer! They could do all the things free people can do when they’re no longer being controlled by the WHO.
About our guest columnist: Jenna McCarthy is an internationally published writer, corporate speaker, screenwriter, podcaster, (https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/happily-married-to-other-people/id1593057345) 2-time TED presenter, former radio personality and the author of more than 20 books for kids and adults. Her writing has appeared in over 60 magazines, on dozens of web sites, in several anthologies including the popular Chicken Soup series and most recently, as part of the esteemed FLCCC Alliance Community. https://flccc.substack.com/p/whats-your-why Prior to the pandemic, she considered herself a “sit-down comedian: and was prone to penning clever, but whimsical, books and essays and poking fun at marriage, modern life and anything else she found amusing. COVID, of course, changed all of that. Today, you’re likely to find Jenna mouthing off about tyrannical mandates, sweeping government corruption, and the perils of trusting Big pHarma. You can follow her Substack, https://substack.com/profile/45778720-jenna-mccarthy or check out her books and her blog at http://www.jennamccarthy.com/
Follower of Christ Jesus (a christian), Pahasapan (resident of the Black Hills), Westerner, Lover of Liberty, Free-Market Anarchist, Engineer, Army Officer, Husband, Father, Historian, Writer, Evangelist. Successor to Lady Susan (Mama Liberty) at TPOL.
Guest Commentary: Morton sues the WHO
A Seussian Poem About The Plight Of A Vaccinated Man In Covid, shared by our reader Scott.
By Jenna McCarthy
The 15th of March seemed a nondescript day,
although something was festering far, far away.
It may or may not have escaped from a lab,
(but make no mistake; it would end in a jab).
Morton was working a job he could stand.
“That’s odd”, he said plainly. “My throat feels like sand.”
It was prickly and tickly and surely quite mild.
“It is the cold season”, Morton said, and he smiled.
Then he went back to doing the things you could do
before things were decided for you by the WHO.
But he made a mistake, and a grave one at that:
He turned on the telly. There was talk of a bat.
Lots of them! Dead ones! For sale on the street!
“They’re teeming with germs”, POTUS said in a tweet.
“Oh dear”, muttered Morton, clutching his neck.
All of a sudden, he was feeling a wreck.
The telly-man said he should not go outside,
he should not go to Target or get his hairs dyed.
‘Twould be good if he could shun the whole human race,
and he abso-must-lutely start covering his face.
He listened intently; did as him was told,
because Morton very much wanted to grow old.
That bat-bug was nasty, the whole world could see.
It was hell-bent on wiping out humanity!
So, Morton masked up and he cancelled his plans,
and got extra obsessive about washing his hands.
The telly-man told him, good things were coming;
around the whole world, you could hear a faint humming.
It rumbled and rattled, then turned to a roar;
why hadn’t somebody done this before?
They’d made a vaccine, he could get it for free!
Now he would be protected from sure misery!
What’s more, with a shot, he could unwrap his face.
He could see other people, he could go anyplace!
He could have Christmas dinner with Bob and his wife
and visit with Grams without risking her life!
So, he covered his mug and he rolled up his sleeve,
for himself and his cat and his fat old Aunt Eve.
“Getting a jab is the right thing to do”,
he’d shout at his neighbors, his face turning blue.
When Morton heard folks were refusing the shot,
he basically told them he hoped they would rot.
“You’re mean and you’re selfish and dumb as a stump
and I know for a fact, you voted for Trump!”
One day, the telly-man had some bad news.
“One shot is as good as a badly-burnt fuse.
Without 2, you’re risky; a threat to mankind.
We’ll give you a donut – or 2 – for your time!”
The orders came down from a doctor named Ouchie;
If anyone scorned his demands, he’d get grouchy.
Again, Morton did what he needed to do,
and his arm turned a perfectly purplish hue.
“I got it, you guys! I got number 2!”
he boasted on Facebook. “And you all should, too!”
The next day, a freakishly weird thing occurred:
All Morton’s words began coming out slurred.
His face was half frozen, half all-falling-down;
his lips seemed to be stuck in a misshapen frown.
I certainly wonder what could be the cause?
he mused as he noticed the rash on his paws.
And his head – it was splitting, a deafening pain.
He felt quite as if he’d been hit by a train!
But Morton had no time to dwell on his ills;
the telly-man’s words had him covered in chills.
“2 shots, don’t you know, are as useless as 1.
You must get a third; do not walk, soldiers. RUN!”
Some people were saying the shots might be bad
– might even be causing the symptoms he had!
Nonsense like that really made Morton crabby.
Nothing but magic was inside of that jabby!
He was positive, sure of it, down to his bones,
nothing in there was messing with his hormones.
Sure, young kids were suddenly dropping from strokes.
But safe-and-effective! You can trust science, folks!
What else could he do? There was no other answer.
So what if it tripled his chances of cancer?
Morton was part of the poked-and-proud crowd.
Changing your mind simply wasn’t allowed.
Somewhere around jab 4 or jab 6,
the telly-man dropped a new shit-ton of bricks.
“Whether 16-times-poked, or not prodded at all,
you still need a mask to buy crap at the mall.
And maybe this holiday folks shouldn’t gather;
If you do, you could die. Is that what you’d rather?”
For a second year running, Morton holidayed alone.
He wished Merry Christmas to his family by phone.
He woke up one morning not feeling too well,
and realized he’d lost all his taste and his smell.
He’d gotten the virus! The deadly disease!
He crawled into bed with a feverish wheeze.
Thence Morton fell into a pit of despair.
“I did all the things! This just isn’t fair!
They told me those jabs would keep everyone well.
And you, Dr. Ouchie? You can go straight to hell!”
It’s true, poor Morton was falling apart;
the slurring had turned to some pains in his heart.
“It’s just inflammation, no biggie”, Doc said.
“Now roll up your sleeve and lay down on this bed.
It’s booster day, son. It won’t cost you a dime!
It’s painless and safe, you’ll be done in no time.”
“You know what?” cried Morton, his voice fiery mad.
“I’m sick of this bullshit! The whole world’s gone mad!
These vaccines of yours, they simply don’t work.
I know ‘cuz I took them. I feel like a jerk!
You bribed and you lied. It was all a big scam!
You’ve raked in your billions. You don’t give a damn
people are dying and getting quite sick
from your unconstitutionally mandated prick.
I’m not taking another! You hear me? Not one!
You couldn’t convince me if you pointed a gun
at the tip of my temple and threatened to shoot it.
You’re corrupt to the core and you cannot refute it!”
Some folks down the street couldn’t miss Morton’s shouting.
And most of them, frankly, had already been doubting
the lies the telly and Ouchie had told
about a virus, for most was as mild as a cold.
They rushed to high-5 their courageous new leader,
each promising to be Morton’s loudest cheerleader.
They made signs and t-shirts: “I call my own shots!”
“My body, my choice!” “They’re not ‘just’ blood clots!”
Morton was happy, but still suffering a lot
of the horrible side-effects caused by that shot.
He heard of a lawyer who was suing the WHO
and he whipped off a 2-worded letter: Me too!
“Not safe, not effective”, the court finally said.
“Quite frankly, you’re lucky you aren’t dead!”
Morton went home with a big pile of cash,
and waited for the rest of the narrative to crash.
It didn’t take long; that thing was quite frail.
Best of all, Ouchie was going to jail!
As the world bid adieu to the king of the liars,
people danced in the streets and burned masks in great fires.
The pandemic was over! They could live without fear!
They could go to a bar! They could order a beer!
They could do all the things free people can do
when they’re no longer being controlled by the WHO.
About our guest columnist: Jenna McCarthy is an internationally published writer, corporate speaker, screenwriter, podcaster, (https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/happily-married-to-other-people/id1593057345) 2-time TED presenter, former radio personality and the author of more than 20 books for kids and adults. Her writing has appeared in over 60 magazines, on dozens of web sites, in several anthologies including the popular Chicken Soup series and most recently, as part of the esteemed FLCCC Alliance Community. https://flccc.substack.com/p/whats-your-why Prior to the pandemic, she considered herself a “sit-down comedian: and was prone to penning clever, but whimsical, books and essays and poking fun at marriage, modern life and anything else she found amusing. COVID, of course, changed all of that. Today, you’re likely to find Jenna mouthing off about tyrannical mandates, sweeping government corruption, and the perils of trusting Big pHarma. You can follow her Substack, https://substack.com/profile/45778720-jenna-mccarthy or check out her books and her blog at http://www.jennamccarthy.com/
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About TPOL Nathan
Follower of Christ Jesus (a christian), Pahasapan (resident of the Black Hills), Westerner, Lover of Liberty, Free-Market Anarchist, Engineer, Army Officer, Husband, Father, Historian, Writer, Evangelist. Successor to Lady Susan (Mama Liberty) at TPOL.