Surveillance might not work out quite as intended here in the rural West.
The other day I went to town and saw a big, black SUV at the only signal light in town. It had quite a few stubby radio antennas and smoky glass windows (illegal for the rest of us), so I wasn’t surprised to see two young men in it with hard looking faces.
The thing is, gentlemen – you stood out like a sore thumb.
Here in the back country, most men drive big pickup trucks. They have deer guards on the front grill, tools and dogs in the back, or big round bales of hay or water tanks. The ladies often drive SUVs, of course, but most of them were originally red, green or some color except black. They are usually full of kids, dogs and groceries.
And all of our cars and trucks are mud to the roof most of the year. Can’t read the “license,” usually, and nobody much cares.
Most of us are just too busy working, building things, raising families and taking care of our communities to worry all that much about what you’re up to. Just understand that if you try sneaking up on someone’s property to plant a GPS bug on their car, you will probably have the dogs at your throat or a load of buckshot in your butts. We don’t suffer fools gladly.
If you just have to hang around, my advice is to get yourself a nice Dodge Ram truck and a big cattle dog or a bale of hay if you want to go (more or less) unnoticed. Don’t wash the truck either, at least until July.
Oh, and get rid of that silly ear plug with the curly wire hanging down. Makes you look like dumb shit idiots.
Actually, the only “terrorists” I’ve seen here are YOU.
This one made me smile.
But, just remember: they may have the “sore thumb” in place to distract you from the mud-cover Ram with the bale of hay in the back that the guys who are really spying on you are sitting in. (But then, they’d still be strangers- unless some of your neighbors have been corrupted. Is that too suspicious? Just remember that their evil knows no human bounds.)
I suppose anything is possible, but I’m not going to worry about it. There isn’t anything here to really interest them, I think. They LIKE being dicks and showing off, so actually hiding would be terribly boring here. Just as with other criminals, they’d soon realize there are no easy victims here and go away to greener pastures.