Courtesy of a friend and correspondent, here are some great bits of political humor to share. They all point to the problems with government, and remind us that no matter how bad government gets, we can still laugh at it. Forgive me if you’ve read them before.
Among great aphorisms are these:
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace, that two become a law firm and that three or more become a congress. – John Adams
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. – Mark Twain
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. – Winston Churchill
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. – George Bernard Shaw
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. – G. Gordon Liddy
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. – P. J. O’Rourke
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. – Ronald Reagan
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. – Will Rogers
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! – P. J. O’Rourke
No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. – Mark Twain
Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. – Anonymous
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. – Winston Churchill
he only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. – Mark Twain
There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, except Congress. – Mark Twain
What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. – Edward Langley
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. – Thomas Jefferson
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Five Great Sentences (unknown who wrote these, though various sources are attributed):
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
The government cannot give anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!
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Socialism in a nutshell:
You’re playing Monopoly. After every trip around the board, you pass GO. If you’re the leader, you must give one piece of property to the player with the least property. Same goes for houses, hotels, etc. Instead of collecting $200, you pay income tax of 35% to be split between the other players. Soon, no one is buying property, houses or hotels. Eventually, everyone quits trying and just waits for their handout when someone else passes GO.
Feel free to share more with us to share with other readers. And feel free to at least chuckle!
Again, thanks to Margaret for this!
“Prostitutes are like elected people, They act like they like you when ******* you to get money”.
The Jefferson big gov quote is not real.
Thank you for catching that. Do you have any idea who might have said or written that?